Embracing ADHD in Our Kids
OneSpace community member Bethan Williams shares her experience seeking a diagnosis for her neurodivergent child, as well as helpful resources and empathetic reminders to help us embrace ADHD in our kids.
Our favourite piece of advice from Bethan:
“Accept your kiddo, believe in them and celebrate all the wins.”
A couple of years ago, we discovered our seven-year-old daughter had ADHD. The journey through diagnosis and finding the right support was overwhelming at times, but I made it through largely thanks to other moms who shared their experiences and reassurances. With that in mind, here are a few tips to help navigate this process, acknowledging that every child and their situation is unique.
Firstly, what is ADHD?
The Canadian ADHD Resource Alliance (CADDRA) explains that “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder – is classified according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5). Symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity must be at a level that causes impairment for the child in their daily life.” Renowned psychiatry professor and author Russell Barkley defines ADHD as “a neurodevelopmental disorder of self-control and executive functioning.”
How to know if your child may have ADHD
Look out for hints from their teacher but remember they’re not allowed to diagnose! Our daughter was receiving support for reading and writing from K-Grade 2 and we put it down to the challenges of French Immersion and the COVID-19 pandemic. It was only when we learnt that in addition to academic struggles, she was regularly distracted in class, unable to sit still and missing social cues that we went to our GP. Note: Girls often slip through the cracks and go undiagnosed with ADHD.
Getting a diagnosis
Our GP referred us to a pediatrician who diagnosed our daughter with ADHD, recommended a psychoeducational assessment - and explained that she would receive care for ADHD until she was 18. For an ADHD diagnosis, a child must be assessed in two different environments: home and school – and signs must be present for at least six months. Lots of form-filling!
A psych-ed assessment can help to confirm an ADHD diagnosis and also other learning disabilities. A child psychologist conducted ours over the course of a day, and produced a comprehensive report that we still use to advocate for school support. Note: paying privately for these is unfortunately common since the waitlist can be years-long for a free school psych-ed.
Putting in supports
Supports for ADHD are vital and often described as “glasses for the brain”. Without them, the condition is disabling, but with them, the difference can be game-changing. Thanks to her specific supports, our daughter is now thriving socially and academically.
Things we find helpful are:
Body doubling - ADHD can make it hard to start and finish tasks so we’re on hand to make sure homework, getting ready for school, and getting out the door happen. We use an egg-timer-type clock to help counteract time blindness, and rewards to boost her motivation.
A healthy diet and lots of exercise - help our daughter stay focused and regulated.
Visual schedules and to-do lists – help with deficiencies in working memory.
Recommended resources:
BC Children’s Hospital Kelty Mental Health Resources: ADHD
Odin Books – a great store for resources and tools for neurodiversity
Orton Gillingham learning approach is interactive and our daughter made solid gains from tutoring. Services in Vancouver include: Symbols Learning, Learning Disabilities Society Canada, & Reach Learning Centre
Social media groups like: ADHD Parent Neurodivergent Support BC (Facebook)
Books:
Taking Charge of ADHD by Russell Barkley
Smart But Scattered Peg Dawson and Richard Guare
Thriving with ADHD – Workbook for Kids by Kelli Miller
Understanding Girls with ADHD by Kathleen Nadeau & Patricia Quinn
The Explosive Child by Ross Greene
Learning to Advocate
A head pediatrician at BC Children’s Hospital told me from her own experience, “you’re going to need to be mama bear and advocate a LOT”. She was right.
At school, stay in touch with your child’s teacher, and advocate for support from a resource teacher or education assistant if your child needs it. Socially, for our daughter, it helped us to talk to other parents about ADHD and initially keep playdates shorter and often outside.
Reach out to your pediatrician or GP for help when you need it, even if things seem unrelated – like tummy or sleep issues – they can be part of the big picture. Take notes and file everything!
Be neuro-affirming
Statistically – and heartbreakingly - children with ADHD receive way more negative feedback and peer rejection. Accept your kiddo, believe in them and celebrate all the wins.
Find mentors and others who inspire. Our daughter loves that some of her heroes like Emma Watson who played Hermione in Harry Potter, and Dav Pilkey, author of Dogman & Cat Kid are wired just like her.
Marathon not a Sprint
ADHD and neurodivergence can spice up family lifestyles and dynamics so take care of yourselves as parents. Know that your partner may feel differently about the diagnosis and things like medication, and that’s fine – keep talking & learning about ADHD and approach your decisions through a science-backed lens. Be patient, be kind, and enjoy your amazing kiddo!
About Bethan Williams
Bethan Williams is a Communications Consultant, based in Vancouver where she lives with her husband, their daughter and their dog.
They love to rock climb, play silly games, listen to music and explore the world.
Email Bethan.